"Family Conversation"
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
 
Dad: BUY THE COMPUTER!
The modem should be built-in. Buying MS Office is going to set you back another $100 or so...

P.S. Amazon.com is collecting donations - they'll give 100% to the American Red Cross for tsunami disaster relief - they've collected almost $3 million in just over 24 hours... Check it out!
C

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much excitement in the Friedenthal. Is the turkey that JP is bringing for Gavin? if it is, I'm sure he'll be overjoyed. speaking of food, JP, any requests for homecooked repast when you come to philly? will put on my frilly apron and everything. as dad would say, such domesticity.
work is going well. have conquered my cold. yesterday was the worst, now I am only marginally snot producing! joy!
all from me.
love,
H

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Tuesday, December 28, 2004
 
Dad - I didn't mean to "bugger up" your My Yahoo - I didn't think I accessed it from your computer. If I did, you can sign in as yourself again on My Yahoo.

H - I think we shouldn't mention details about the car on the blog (which is public) until the whole chain of events that is in motion right now is finished. Use the phone instead. Less chance of potential problems.

Regarding our conversation on Christmas about gay marriage and polygamy (in which Gavin took part and noted potential complications with polygamy and the tax code), I noticed an article today in the Daily Telegraph of London, by Mark Steyn, where he discusses exactly this issue - gay marriage, polygamy and the (British) tax code. Article here. Steyn quotes a Sunday Times article which reports that the British tax authorities are considering recognizing polygamy for tax purposes. For example, if you have 4 wives and you die, each wife would receive her share of your estate tax-free. The issue is also important for people who pay out pension obligations. If a pensioner dies with 4 wives, does each wife get 1/4 of his pension? Or does each get a full pension?

I agree with Steyn's logic in this paragraph:
"Logically, one can be either opposed to both (as I am) or in favour of both, but activists who maintain that homosexual marriage is fine but multi-sexual marriage isn't sound awfully like those couples who build their dream home in the country and then want to stop anybody else from moving in."
And earlier in the article: "If the gender of the participants is no longer relevant, why should the number be?"

It's a minority opinion at the moment, but it makes sense to me...

C

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scratch that, reverse it.
talked to JP last night and I am going to hang out with my friend dan who is visiting from Japan, on wednesday night. have not gotten a chance to see him since he arrived and with the car situation buggered up as it is, I have to take the opportunities I get. hence, JP, you should come to philly thursday, any time you want, it's up to you. I get out of work at 7 pm.
dad, I checked out the Subaru online for pricing.
Trade in value at a dealer is $700. private party price is $1600. I checked my car out and (in the hypothetical, no damage situation) it's worth about $3200 in a private party sale.
will let you all know when the insurance people give me their estimate.
Again, had a fun time this weekend. hope ming isn't driving you too crazy, dad.
love,
H

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Monday, December 27, 2004
 
christoph! why must you bugger everything up? Just kidding, my computer has been working fine so far, and gavin is cool with the firefox as long as it blocks the popups.
some snow in philly. am enjoying the day off, having my pants hemmed, and working to get over the cold that I got over the weekend. mucus galore.
JP, you should come wednesday night! spinal tap, homecooked dinner, and we'll rip things up, tubular style.
Dad, thanks for the nice, heated house (wink) and a fun weekend. gavin says hi. I told him that you thanked him every time you had some brandy. if there is any fried turkey left over, he would love to have some if JP feels like bringing it. then he'd like some pork roast in milk sauce. hehe.
love,
H

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Wednesday, December 22, 2004
 
down the street. yes, sir, you are correct. let's hope there isn't too much craziness going on.
will be there with bells on.
H

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Tuesday, December 21, 2004
 
Excellent!
I'll be on the 5:01 train to Trenton arriving 6:14. Then it's the 6:32 R7 train to Market Street (30th Street), arriving at 7:19 pm!
Maybe you can pick me up down the street outside the station, like we did at Thanksgiving.
Thanks, H!

C

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6:45 or 7:20 are good. it might help to leave around those times since rush hour will be on its last furious legs, and hopefully petering off.
How about 7:20?
H

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H:
I looked at the train schedules, and I could arrive at 30th St. Station in Philly on Thursday, 12/23 at 5:30, 6:45, 7:20 or 7:45 pm. Let me know what time is good for you (there's also 8:30, 9:00, 9:30, 10:30, but if we are going out to Hanover, maybe I should be on an earlier train...).

C

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ye olde nueva york is ok for me. I don't really care what we do, am up for anything.
only two days left at work, counting today. very excited. am a little anxious that JPs presents will not arrive in a timely fashion. one of them left new berlin, wisconsin yesterday, so should almost be to PA, you would think. I can only hope.
COLD!!! friggen cold here. yesterday was so cold I almost got a little panicky when I was locking up my bike in the a.m., because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to manipulate the lock. that's how cold it was, and my hands were in gloves. the windchill was definitely in the negative numbers. even ebony was in a hurry to get home while walking her last night. today is a little warmer, but not much. then it's supposed to be like 50 thursday. ahh, global warming.
C, when are you thinking of coming to philly to catch a ride with me to hanover? I have thursday off, and will be in allentown training and stuff for a good portion of that day. plus, dan's visiting his parents in allentown, fresh in from japan for a few weeks, and I need to get some quality time with him in. if you wanted to come the morning of the 24th, or evening of 23rd, it would be fine with me.
I am bringing goodies for xmas for us to enjoy. should be good.
love,
H



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Monday, December 20, 2004
 
Dad:
Regarding the turkey fryer, it uses a propane tank, which we will have to pick up somewhere. We won't need the entire 30 quarts of oil; I've read we can put the turkey in the pot, fill it with water until the turkey is covered, remove the turkey, and then we'll know how much oil we'll need. Vegetable oil is fine, though they say peanut oil makes for a better tasting turkey.

H:
I'd vote for New Year's in NYC, for a couple of reasons. One, of course, is laziness, but there's also the fact that there's a lot going on in NYC and we would have a lot of options. Siobhan's bar is having a New Year's party, and I could get us tickets for that. There'll be an open bar for at least a couple of hours.
We have time to decide and can talk about it at Christmas!

Did the weather drop so rapidly Sunday night in PA? There was a weather advisory on TV that the temperature would drop 10 degrees in 1 hour - it really dropped fast last night. We had snow on the ground... But Thursday's forecast is for 55 degrees!

JP: Which way are you travelling here on the East Coast? Are you going straight to Hanover?

C

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Saturday, December 18, 2004
 
I just talked to XO about new year's plans, of which no concrete ones have been made. the option that we have talked about is john paul and I coming to NYC. I just found out that Gop and some other friends of mine (JP-josh bala included) will be in the the city for new year's for various shows, and it would be great if I (we) could catch up with them for dinner. they are a good bunch, I think that it will be about 6 of them. they were talking about the vegcity diner. gavin will most likely be stuck in philly on dog watch, so will not be joining us for new year's celebration in the city. I am kind of bummed about that. there is the option of coming to philly and having dinner with him and his brother, brian, and brother's wife, kara, and then watching the philly fireworks from their apartment building, which is on the delaware river in downtown philly. suggestions?
let me know.
love,
H


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Friday, December 17, 2004
 
can we have fried turducken?
H

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Dad:
Just to give you a head's up - you're going to be receiving a few packages before Christmas - I've been ordering things off Amazon.com and having them shipped to you (and I think H is doing the same).
One Amazon.com package will be pretty big - it's part of my X-mas present to you, Dad. I'm going to spoil the surprise, so that we all have something to look forward to playing around with. It's a 30 quart aluminum turkey frier! Yes, the very item that people around the country have been burning their homes down with! Nothing like fried turkey for Christmas dinner, right? We can run it on the concrete slab near the stream bridge. Seriously, the turkey frying phenom is taking the country by storm, and people really are misusing these things. I heard about 10 warnings against frying turkeys on TV this Thanksgiving.
Even if we don't use it to fry turkeys, I understand you can use the 30 quart container to brew beer! The best of all worlds!
Link to the item is here.

C

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JP,
I think that you should start looking for jobs in your area. in fact, I'll look for you, like on careerbuilder and stuff. you could even get gavin to do it. he likes looking up stuff for people. he's been looking at grad schools for me.
poon. stop. (winkwink)
work was good, free lunch today, CHOP-wide. this afternoon, psych dept. party. hoping for the chocolate covered strawberries.
yes, more about the beer seminar. we should have an eggnog seminar (we could even make our own) over xmas. remember to bring house geschenke for dad, guys.
love,
H

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Thursday, December 16, 2004
 
Dad:
How was the beer seminar? And the "limited amount" of Vollkorn Pumpernickel?

C

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Wednesday, December 15, 2004
 
MBA might be cool JP. due to my more radical leanings I would say that everyone gets an MBA now adays, and that it might be better to go for something else. the MBA seems to be widely applicable though. I guess the real question is, JP, whether you want to spend your life in a business environment or not? I would lean towards not, but who knows.
I myself have been batting around (very casually) the idea of a master's in health psych, which could increase my grad school chances. I could get it in one year, but it would be costly, and I would want to do some sort of graduate research associate or grad student instructor thing for the school to cover the costs. if I were to do it, I could go to a college here in west philly, the univ of the sciences, philadelphia, to complete the MS. good school. Then after getting that, shoot for the PhD somewhere out of my league. yeah! just an inkling though. have to talk about with some of my superiors to get their input. after all, they have been through it themselves.
otherwise, I am psyched for Xmas, only working 3 days next week. this week it's xmas parties galore at the hospital. free lunch friday, free lunch today, psychology dept. party friday afternoon, etc. dad, who were the packages addressed to?
the week after xmas I only work 3 days too, have monday and friday off.
it's really really cold here.
H



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Tuesday, December 14, 2004
 
An MBA would be cool for you to get, JP - we'll have to talk about it over the holidays. You should remember that a lot of the value of an MBA is not necessarily the actual education, but is in making connections with your fellow students. That's why it's important to get into the best school you possibly can.
You now have enough work experience (2+ years) - it would make sense for you to apply.

Yeah, Confusion was really good, as was Quicksilver. I'm finishing up the 3rd book, the System of the World, which drags more than the other two (plus, the main protagonists are almost 50 years older than in book 1, and almost 25 years older than in book 2, so they've understandably slowed down a bit...). I just hope the ending is a good one. What's interesting is that Stephenson is trying to chronicle (or present) a history of the evolution of commerce as we know it today. It's actually pretty deep...

I'd love to hear more about your likeness to Case from Neuromancer. Now, don't go around ripping off pirate hackers so they burn out your nerve cells (with the mycotoxin you define on Wikipedia!) - and when you finally make some money, you blow it all on drugs! Well, Case was pretty cool, other than really poor judgment some of the time (remember, Molly and Armitage hired Case because he was a predictable dead-ender...)

Talk to you guys soon!
C

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Saturday, December 11, 2004
 
first off, I was thinking about the amazon.com wishlist thing, and realized that it would be easiest to just have the stuff sent to dad's. if everyone else has already come to that conclusion, then good. that is what I will be doing. JP, I saw your wishlist, and we have some overlapping stuff. we both have the book "chronicles of tao," which I have read part of, and it's very good. if one of us gets a copy, we could conceivably just swap. keep in mind. we also both have the fear and loathing in lv collectors edition, one that C could burn a copy of, if only one of us got it. not be all practical or anything, just a thought.
C, last time I checked, you only had two books on yours. are you going to be adding anymore stuff? also, what to get for you, Dad?? to create an amazon wishlist you just go to the website, click on wishlist, which is at the top of the page. you can set up a list name and then look for items on teh website, adding ones you want by clicking the "add to wishlist" button. otherwise, do you have any ideas on what to get for you?
regarding the issue of journalists not revealing their sources...
I think that you can't really attack the theory of these kind of confidential arrangements. I don't think that adding addendi or qualifiers to these laws will necessarily solve anything. because politics are really the issue here, and the motive for the leaking of the woman's identity was an act of revenge, it is basically an ethical problem, not legal. it is unethical to do what was done. but we all know that ethics are such a grey category, and violating ethical principles is often applauded, or at least tolerated in our country (see letting companies avoid paying taxes through using off-shore accounts). if we were to clear our political air a little, and actually have a change in our government, these issues would not be such a problem.
so practically, what good will it do to have the journalists reveal their sources? because I am anti-bush and his adminstration, I of course want everything to happen that could possibly make their scandals undeniable. JP mentioned secrecy. this administration has become very secretive, more so than more recent administrations. during WW2 mouths and sources also clammed up, and very unethical things occured (rounding up japanese-americans, for example) , but afterwards there was a realization that this was bad. but since the war on terror is thought of as ongoing (long hard slog), there is no end in sight for this level of secrecy. hmmmm.
moving to canada, anyone?
I think that many people are so pissed off that this administration has gotten away with so much, that this valerie plame case signifies that frustration. if the judges want to make the journalists reveal their sources, and an exception is made in this isolated case, and it reveals at least a small piece of corruption, then so be it.
I am arriving at my decision sort of reluctantly. comments?
anyway, it's raining here in philly today, so no hiking.
also, jp, I didn't know that you were coming to the east coast and staying till new years. I don't really have that many days to take off. I think I might go back to work the 29th or something. we'll talk on the phone about it.
love,
H

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Thursday, December 09, 2004
 
We're having a pretty good discussion on euthanasia here...
By the way, Happy (belated) St. Nicholas' Day to everyone on December 6th. I had explained to Siobhan that our version of Santa Claus would come on 12/6 and bring us gifts, and then we would exchange family gifts on 12/24. On 12/6, she pointed out I should wish you all Happy St. Nicholas Day!
I'm flexible as to dates for Xmas. I can leave very early morning 12/24 and meet you in Philly, H. In fact, I'd prefer that set-up.
Here's a new topic that might be of interest and might spark discussion - the reporters in the Plame/Novak affair are being compelled to give up their sources to the Justice Department, who is investigating the leak. If they don't give up the information, they might be held in contempt of court, which could mean jail time, etc.
Their lawyers are arguing that there is a privilege between journalists and their sources which protects them from this - they don't have to reveal their sources and can't be found to be in contempt. (We attorneys have an obligation to not reveal any communications with our clients and these communications are considered "privileged," the good ol' "attorney-client privilege.")
However, if the court does decide that journalists have this privilege which protects them, the next question is: who is a journalist? Is it only someone with a journalism degree, who works for a major publication? Or is anyone who starts a blog, and reports on current events (100th anniversary of the NYC subway - me), policy matters (euthanasia, especially regarding children - H), "life on the family farm" (Dad) or semi-random ravings (JP - that was a joke, by the way!)?
So that means everyone has this privilege, and maybe no one has the privilege (and you couldn't deny it just because someone doesn't have a blog - it would be discrimination against poor people who don't own a computer, for example).
So the question remains: is there a privilege? and who is protected by it?
Interesting questions...

C

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Wednesday, December 08, 2004
 
JP, coming in on either one of the those days sounds good to me. I have not really gotten a good sense of how much time I can take off for work, since we do have a study going on and everything. If you were to stay till the 30th, then I could take off the 24th and 27th, or something like that. How much are flights running for xmas right now?
I just want to quickly comment on XO's post on euthanasia. Here is the quote:"I think that consenting adults (of sound mind, etc.) should be able to ask for it." Problem with that is the definition of sound mind. Maybe we could apply the same principles of the sound mind definition in adults who want to end their own lives, to parents who make decisions regarding their ill baby's life. You would have to bring in MDs and psychologists trained in whatever disease the person has (if the state of the person's psyche is not readily obvious), so that they can look at actual psychological symptoms of dementia, psychopathology, and do not confuse these manifestations with vegetative symptoms (manifestations associated with a disease that do not necessarily indicate psychopathology, like excessive crying, weird mood swings, etc). "Regarding children/babies, the issue gets more complex - you have issues like: diseases that seem incurable now, but might be cured in the next 5 to 10 years. Would you euthanize the babies, even though a cure for their disease is on the horizon?" Let's think practically here. The idea of "on the horizon" is kind of misleading, I think, because if the horizon is 10 years away, should we sustain these babies' lives, even if they are in a coma, without any brain activity? Or if they have a severe CNS illness that requires vast amounts of resources and makes them severly uncomfortable (babies have a higher sensitivity for pain)? What if this baby were basically a vegetable, and will never regain consciousness? Again the quality of life question. What if there is no way the parents could afford huge medical treatment for their baby for 5 to 10 years? Should the tax payers take on the burden of a baby who is being kept alive on a whim? "One suggestion I've read that if it were so horrible to let a baby live (that you would consider euthanasia), why not let it live long enough to make the decision on its own, instead of letting someone else make the decision?" The legal age to begin making a choice for yourself is 12. What I said above displays how waiting 12 years for a child to grow up is really unreasonable. "I think this kind of decision needs to be made by a society as a whole." yes and no. There should be more talk and consensus in society as a whole, and attitudes need to be developed towards death and dying. Ultimately, and forgive me for repeating myself, if severe disability is present, and if the parents are able to make the decision, they should be responsible.
Nuff said. gotta work now.
Love
H

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Monday, December 06, 2004
 
Good posts, everyone.
Well, regarding the goat farm idea, we'll have to talk about it at Christmas. I've put a goat farming book on my wishlist at Amazon.com - maybe that book will help us with the discussion.
Regarding Christmas, I'll take off Friday and maybe Thursday.
Re: euthanasia, I think it's a complex issue - I think that consenting adults (of sound mind, etc.) should be able to ask for it. Regarding children/babies, the issue gets more complex - you have issues like: diseases that seem incurable now, but might be cured in the next 5 to 10 years. Would you euthanize the babies, even though a cure for their disease is on the horizon?
One suggestion I've read that if it were so horrible to let a baby live (that you would consider euthanasia), why not let it live long enough to make the decision on its own, instead of letting someone else make the decision?
I think this kind of decision needs to be made by a society as a whole - by putting the issue out there in articles, editorials, TV reports, etc. Then a collective decision needs to be made (via ballot initiative, letters to Congresspeople, etc.)

I had posted the following on 12/2, but withdrew it because I thought it detracted from the goat question. I'll note that Hewitt is a bombastic type...

This post is a follow-up to Hannah's reply to my post on Holland practicing euthanasia on children up to age 12. It seems like the children's parents don't have much say in the process:
"A parent's role is limited under the protocol. While experts and critics familiar with the policy said a parent's wishes to let a child live or die naturally most likely would be considered, they note that the decision must be professional, so rests with doctors." Link here.
So parents' wishes might not be considered at all, and if they are, their wishes don't seem to carry much weight. As radio talk host Hugh Hewitt describes, "Death by Committee."


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Hello all,
Dad, the way that I punch in a paragraph is just by pressing 'enter.' that's how it works for me. who knows.
so what is the deal for xmas? I need to know for work, so that I can put in for vacation days.
JP, when I talked to you yesterday, you said you were coming, you just didn't know when. I looked at the calendar, and am just tenatively going to take off december 23 and 24, since the 25th falls on a saturday this year.
I might be able to make adjustments in my schedule if I hear from you guys by the beginning of this week.
At work, another wonderful week ahead. rumor is that snow will fly soon.
ugh.
love,
H

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Thursday, December 02, 2004
 
Very interesting indeed. The goat idea I mean. If dad's up for it, it might be cool, but I just don't know if you are, dad. I have heard good things about goats from friends who own them. They haul stuff for you, provide milk, you can sell them and eat them...win win situation (except for the goats who get killed that is.hehe.
Now on to euthanasia...
I didn't really like that Hugh Hewitt article.There is such a huge fear that there will be some kind of shift in peoples' thinking, that suddenly they will want to a. kill their own babies if they are less than perfect (that idea can only be hinted at for a small small percentage of parents) b. kill anyone who is not perfect, or has become too old to be of use.
I mean really. We are a far cry from the Final Solution. It would be quite a step indeed if we went from ending lives that would wrought with terrible medical conditions, suffering great pain, including suffering of parents, to killing a baby based on the fact that he/she had trisomy 21 (down's). These euthanasia decisions in babies have come about because medical science has advanced so far that we really need to start looking at quality of life, not just life at all costs (physically, emotionally, financially). To extrapolate to adults, what is the use in having somone in a permanent vegetative state for 10 years, sucking away resources, when there is maybe 100ths of a percent chance that the person will awaken, and be functional in any way. We shouldn't let principle get in the way of reality.
I do not like the idea of the independent committee, now even more so because I know that the parents' decision will not be first and foremost law for their child. The ONLY time I could see some outside intervention is if the parents were psychologically disturbed, or otherwise incapable of making a decision based on what is best for their child and them. LIke I said before, there is only a tiny percentage of parents who want only a perfect child, and would be willing to kill a baby based on mild/moderate physical problems.
Now euthanasia with children who are not babies, but younger than 12. I think that the same principles apply. By then the parents have bonded with the child even more so (in most cases), so letting go would be even harder. It is a fact that on average parents visit their babies in the Neonatal Int. Care Unit less than their children in the Pediatric Int. Care Unit. Why? THey have not had the chance to bond with their baby as much as they have with their child. Especially children who haven't even hit puberty yet. If these parents think that it would be best to just let the child go, how can you fault them?
That's all from me.
A chick pea is neither a chick nor a pea, discuss.
Love,
H

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I just had a good conversation with Dad, and I brought up an idea we can discuss - it was sparked by an article in the Chicago Tribune, "Changing America, changing tastes: The increase of immigrants, particularly Muslims, is driving a profitable market for goat meat, a popular food in cultures around the world." Link here.
Dad as Goat Farmer, what do you think?
The article describes an auction for goats in New Holland, PA, where buyers from New York City come to buy goats for sale in delis, restaurants, etc. in NYC. A Chinatown store sells half their goats to Chinese customers, who like smoked kid goats, and the other half to Hispanic customers, who like older, bigger goats. Another big market for goats is the Muslim community - halal meat.
Another interesting fact is that the 2,000,000 goats sold in 2002 were raised on 75,000 farms. That's only about 25 goats for your average farm. (The article later states that 16,000 farms in Texas raised 1,000,000 goats, so outside of Texas, there were 59,000 farms for the other 1,000,000 goats, or only about 17 goats per farm, on average!)
A guy who trucks in goats from Tennessee to New Holland every Monday (536 miles) says that "it seems like every farmer with even a few acres in eastern Tennessee and western Virginia has goats. 'Everybody that has 5 acres has goats,' he said. 'If they have 2 acres, they have goats.'"
If you need only about a dozen and a half goats to be profitable, and the major east coast auction is only a couple of hours away, this might be a good project.
We have the land. There would be a capital investment at first (fences, housing, supplies, etc.), but this could work. And Dad would be a Goat Farmer.
What do you guys think?

C

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Wednesday, December 01, 2004
 
Dear all,
I read the article about euthanasia in the Netherlands. Interestingly enough, just yesterday I attended a conference with doctors who are in the NICU, concerning the very questions of ending life, and the doctor-parent interaction. There were many issues. One is that if doctors tell parents their honest opinion, that for instance the baby is very ill and really doesn't have much of a chance of life, then parents might think that the doctors has given up on their baby, and they might want to go to another hospital. Often times there is also the struggle between families wanting to do everything they can, but not really thinking of the consequences. The doctors were talking about maybe setting up three different outcomes: Life, life with severe difficulties, and death. Additionally, doctors aren't really good at predicting life or death, strictly in those terms. They can predict death pretty well, but they aren't so good at predicting survival, or terms of survival. One other interesting fact is that while medical advances can prolong life in low birth weight babies (500-2000 grams) they do not really prevent death significantly. All we are doing therefore is prolonging the inevitable.
One further aspect, which is especially relevant here in Philly is that often black families think that doctors are experimenting on their baby, giving the baby substandard care, are more ready to give up on black babies. It's kind of a deep seeded mistrust of doctors and hospitals.
Now regarding the article.
It is true that mercy killings go on everywhere. Here in the NICU if they think the baby has little/ no chance, and the parents decide to let the baby die, they do stop life support. That can be viewed as a type of euthanasia, although I do not know if they give the babies sedatives or pain killers to ease their passing. They might. I will have to ask a doc around here. I do not like the idea of an independent review board that can decide. In theory it is okay, and these issues need to be talked about, but parents with doctors' help need to make the decision, not anyone else. it is only their responsibility, their baby. people do not want to be told what to do in this situation.
I really appreciate the fact that the Netherlands is really trying to open this issue up, because with medical science the way that it is now, the health outcomes of these babies are questionable. As always, I think that the babies parents should make the ultimate decision, they need to be told about the baby's prospects realistically, and doctors need to be more honest. I do think that we need to have a paradigm shift in this country, and face the fact that medical advances don't always mean better life.
Euthanasia in adults should be allowed in my opinion, with the family/spouse making the decision if the person is not conscious.
That's all, gotta go.
love,
H

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